To Think and to Know
by StarsOfYaoi
Summary: *Agon/Hiruma drabble* It's a simple chain of thoughts, because they all think they know, but only one truly understands. Other pairings mentioned, all one-sided.


**StarsOfYaoi:** It has been a while since I posted something new on here, and I decided to offer an old drabble I wrote a few years ago for this fandom I fell in love.

So, uh. Hello, Eyeshield fandom :) I bring you AHiru.

This shot is dedicated to my friend _Yum2_.

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**Rating**: K+

**Warnings:** slight spoilers for the series, light cussing. Hints of one–sided pairings of both romantic and friendly kind.

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Eyeshield21, mostly because I have next to no knowledge of Amefuto.

"Talking"

'_Thinking'_

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**To Think and to Know**

**One–shot**

Mamori thinks she knows Hiruma.

She has been his classmate for two years, and that means she can see a side of him none of the members of his team ever has, and of course in the last year she's been the manager of the Deimon DevilBats she has been able to be around him even more.

There was a time she had despised him greatly, but now things are different.

Plus, she's a very observant person. Hiruma might act like a devil, to keep people away, but deep down he's just a teen, like all of them; he's still just seventeen, after all. It was easy to forget it, with her motherly attitude towards Sena, but now she's aware of the fact and acts accordingly.

She has seen him hurt, she has seen his poker face and was able to recognise the truth underneath it, and she thinks she can read him pretty well, despite everything. Even if they often banter and fight she respects him, and ended up liking the side of him he never openly shows.

What she _knows_ is that he will never look at her as something other than a 'fucking manager'.

Because Hiruma _watches_ Sena. Ever since the start, Sena was the one to catch Hiruma's eyes, the one the devil blond trusted in a dire situation where the team should have lost. Mamori can see that, and accepts the fact. Sometimes it doesn't matter if you have known someone for a long time, because in the end, there are other things that matter… and she knows she should be angry at Sena, but she can't.

That's why she simply watches Hiruma, watches Sena, and wishes them luck, because she loves Sena like a sister would, and wants the two of them to be happy.

…–…–…–…

Sena thinks he knows Hiruma.

Sena has always been a loser, and the only good thing he sees of himself is his running skills, but he prides himself to be rather observant. He can read Hiruma's gestures and his actions, the way he is happy without truly showing it, simply kicking their asses without a word, or how he makes the whole team believe in him.

Behind his devilish side, Hiruma shows them a reliable side, and thanks to that, he has their trust.

Sena knows Hiruma watches him –Hiruma has always watched him, seeing something in him no one else ever has before, a potential that would have been completely ignored if Hiruma hadn't been there to witness it.

Eyeshield21 was born because if Hiruma, and Sena will always be thankful –he was offered a chance to be strong and independent, and he's glad he took it.

Sena also thinks that, while he's not the first in Hiruma's mind, at least he ranks high, and consoles himself with this thought.

Still, when he turns to look at Musashi as the older teen practices his throws, he can't help but be envious of him –Musashi ranks even _higher_, and Sena knows and respects this.

Musashi makes Hiruma happy, and that's what matters.

That's why when he glances at Hiruma, and then openly looks at Musashi, he promises himself he'll grow even stronger to match up Hiruma's trust in him.

…–…–…–…

Musashi thinks he knows better.

He is one of Hiruma's oldest friends and the two of them go way back together, with a shared dream and a shared goal, and the pain of seeing that dream slowly vanish from their futures (even though now that dream has been finally accomplished).

Their past together makes Musashi think he knows Hiruma well.

Hiruma counted each minute Musashi was away from him, welcoming him back with the same trust and belief from before, never wavering, as if he hadn't been gone for so long; he still trusts him, even though Musashi still has to go back to his job now that everything has finally come to an end.

Musashi thinks practically, his mind set through hardships and pain, aware of the dream he denied himself when he left the team to help his father; the fists of his father are supposed to be stronger than his own, but they aren't. He is young, yet he feels older than his age.

He has accepted all that because that's how things go, but even with his no-nonsense thinking, there are certain things that cannot be placed in predetermined categories.

Hiruma is one.

Musashi joined the team because of Kurita's passion, but he soon found out that Hiruma wasn't faking his own.

And yet, Musashi _knows_ that Hiruma himself would never think of him like Musashi wants him to; Hiruma has few things he's interested in, and one of those is American football.

And what caused this passion to grow is not Musashi –he wasn't even there at that time. But he is older than his age, both in his looks and in his mind, heart and soul. He can accept this, and not feel jealous, because he can be better than this.

That's why Musashi watches from the sidelines, thinking he still knows Hiruma, even when a part of him _is_ a bit jealous –wishing he met Hiruma before Kurita did.

…–…–…–…

Kurita is silent, like he's always been. He looks like an idiot to most people, a giant with a big heart but not a genius, and yet he's the only one who doesn't think he knows Hiruma –he truly _knows_ him.

Others might think they know Hiruma because they've been watching, or because they've been granted attention from the blond haired devil, but Kurita can only shake his head and smile, because they are wrong but no one would listen to him if he were to tell them the truth.

They all looked the right way, but still misunderstood.

Kurita knows Hiruma because he never made any step towards unveiling that mystery that Hiruma is –he gave his own acceptance and gained a devil's trust back, and that is enough.

Kurita knows a lot, in truth. Hiruma sacrificed a prestigious school to be at his side in his love for football, denying himself a glorious future just for him. This is what made them friends.

Hiruma lost a friend when he chose Kurita and Musashi, a friend he didn't even know he had, and Kurita is aware of that too. The thought makes him sigh in sadness, because he's responsible for this, in the end. Hiruma chose him because he valued their friendship above whatever he had with _him_.

That makes Kurita indebted with Hiruma in more ways than one, and makes him work hard to give his best, always.

Kurita understands then.

And when he watches Hiruma interact with Agon, he simply smiles. He's happy.

He doesn't hate Agon for what he did back then, as he acted out of jealousy, and he had every right to –Kurita stole his only friend, after all.

He's the only one that sees the truth, and he sees how no one else will understand unless they know where to look, and how to look for it, too –but it'll take time, and he is in no hurry.

Maybe Agon and Hiruma will see that too in the end.

For now, Kurita observes, smiles and trains even harder.

…–…–…–…

Agon does not think –he _knows_.

Or at least, he's sure he does. He knows Hiruma is his property, he knows no one ranks higher than him in the trash's mind except amefuto, but that does _not_ count (for Agon, that is).

It has always been like that, even when they were separate and hating each other… but now they are close again, despite not being willing to admit this closeness, and Agon thinks he's waited enough. There are better ways to have Hiruma pay back what he owes him than just insult him and glare at him and his friends.

He barely gives any attention to Hiruma, keeping it on the beautiful women surrounding him because he needs to show Hiruma that he doesn't care, that Hiruma isn't as important as he thinks he is. Because Agon doesn't belong to anyone, only himself.

That is far from the truth, but Agon is still in denial, and he's good at lying –even to himself.

So he keeps seducing his bitches, and yet he keeps returning to a single person every time.

After all, Agon only thinks highly of himself, and if he chose Hiruma, it's simply because he might be slightly better than the rest of the trash he meets daily.

It's not because Hiruma has a mind of his own, and his values are similar to Agon's; it's not because Hiruma attracts him in ways he doesn't want to admit, let alone name. It's not because the promise of action, violence and threats is a strong aphrodisiac for what will follow –raw, animalistic sex where Agon can watch Hiruma closely without having to make up lies as to why he does.

He chose Hiruma –_and Agon's reasoning sounds so very convincing to his own ears that he's long since started believing that_– because he is has power over someone who cannot be tamed by anybody else.

Hiruma belongs to Agon because that's how Agon wants it.

So Agon _knows_, and that's enough. No trash can ever have what is _his_.

…–…–…–…

Hiruma quietly laughs to himself, and the laugh turns soon in a cackle so that everyone can know of his amusement, even if they don't know why.

It helps with the creepiness and scares the hell out of others, after all.

So what? Hiruma knows _exactly_ what Agon thinks. He's aware of what the others think, and that amuses him as he and Kurita exchange a knowing look between them.

With that look they understand each other more than with words –Hiruma smirks and unloads bullets towards the sky, and Kurita sweatdrops, smiling and glancing away.

So of course Agon is fucking _wrong_ even when he's _right_.

Hiruma didn't choose Agon because the Fucking Dreads is a god. He doesn't allow the teen to fuck him into walls because of his masochistic side, nor because he's delusional like one of the bitches Agon likes to fuck thinking he makes Hiruma jealous.

Hiruma remains 'faithful' to his egocentric lover not because he has any idiotic ideals to respect and follow through.

If he wanted to, Hiruma would have _anyone_ he chooses, and they would gladly offer him their love, and be honest about it –no cheating.

It's not as sad as people might think, of course.

Hiruma is the one controlling the threads, Hiruma is the one who has the upper end, the gun pointed in the right direction; Hiruma chose Agon, and it's not because he likes to play with fire –although he _does_ like it.

Agon is what Hiruma _wants_. He is smug, sly and a real bastard, but he is an equal. Hiruma can use him, and Agon uses him back. He appears uncaring and free, but that's just a mask, and if you look carefully –_and Hiruma does_– then the truth is different.

It suits him, because it's all disguised and hidden under layers of devilishness.

Agon is childish, arrogant and egotistic, self–centred fucking bastard, and that is what makes their game funnier to play. He plans every step ahead like a strategist, burning the enemy down without anyone coming up to stop him.

After all, with all his traps and cheating habits, it's not Hiruma the one coming back for more. It's always Agon. And will always be.

So in a way, Hiruma wins.

That, Hiruma knows. And Agon never will.

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**SOY:** so, that was it. I hope someone out there was willing to give it a try...


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